I had my first drink in over a month and a half last night. Had a few drinks, actually, and I had a great time. Part of me was really nervous to drink again because I wasn't sure how it was going to affect me after not having any alcohol at all and also because I kinda believed one night of having some drinks would make me gain back all the weight I've lost. The scale still reads 174 like it did the day before. I ate well the whole day and got in a great workout to make myself feel better.
Isn't that strange? I was afraid having one little bit would undo all the work I've done. I'm fine, it didn't undo everything, but it is making think about how my mind set about food and indulging. Do I want to have such tight control on myself that indulging makes me anxious? I don't think that's OK, but I don't know how to not get anxious about it. I still have a long way to go in repairing my relationship with food and finding a healthy balance between treating myself and sticking to healthy food only. For me right now, if I indulge there is no stopping me, I go overboard so it's easier to not go near it. But that is for right now, I will continue to work on this and hopefully I can get to a balance.
I saw some people I haven't seen in a while. They all said I looked great. Someone said my booty looks smaller! :)
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