We've all had those encounters. You've probably got a list of people that drive you crazy. Those people who I lovingly call the Gym Peeves. Let me explain.
Miss HottieEyeCandy
There she is, she's very pretty and looks like she's in good shape. Full face of makeup, hair down and curled, sashaying along with that walk that only comes with years of practice looking in store front windows and mirrors. She looks good and all the guys seem to agree. She makes that treadmill look like a runway show. Come on, are you serious? There is no way you're here to break a sweat with all that makeup on and your hair down like that. And if you are here to work out, how in the world can you do it with your hair in your face and neck? When I work out, I need all my hair off my face and out of the way. I can't fathom how you workout with bouncy waves flopping around your face. Also, how are you so thin? It's clear you don't come to the gym to work out hard, so how is it your butt looks that good? I see you up there on the treadmill, looking around to see if any guys are checking you out, but you obviously don't see the line of people, sans makeup, waiting to actually workout on that treadmill that you seem to use to get dates.
Phone Operator
"Yeah man, I'm at the gym . . . Yeah, getting my workout in . . . Hahahaha yeah I bench like 400 pounds . . . Only 205? Man, you need to work on that! . . . Bars tonight? Let's get some chicks. . . I need to nail a chick. . . They're going to be loving my muscles. . . Gotta go man, can't bang chicks without lookin ripped." Never mind the chicks at the bars, after hearing that conversation, I want you right here right now. Oh wait, no I just want you to SHHH. Being forced to listen to one end of a conversation is annoying enough, but when I'm trying to focus on my workout and I have to hear you refer to women as chicks and talk about sex like it's construction work, it's really annoying. The gym should be a phone free zone. I leave mine in my locker because when I'm at the gym, I'm there to workout, I don't need to be on the phone in the weight area or texting while I'm running.
The Weight Room Porno
"Oh yeah. . . Yeah, right there. . . Don't stop keep pushing . . . Harder. . . Harder. . . Yes! . . . Oh yeah." No, this isn't the makings of a porno, it's the guy in the weight area talking to himself . . . and his biceps. I understand the need to exhale loudly and maybe let out a grunt or something to push through those last few reps, but dude, it's starting to sound like you want everyone to give you some special alone time with that machine. I think the guy over in the workout studio is turned on. Let's keep the foreplay to a minimum, you're in public.
He's Picturing You Naked
Hmmm. . . I seem to feel eyes on me. Wait, no, they're on my butt and have been for the last 30 minutes of my run. I know you're back there Mr. Creeptastic on the elliptical. I know my butt looks good in my workout pants, but really, staring at it for the duration of my workout? That's a little much. I don't get how you can focus on your workout when your attention seems to be on my tush. It also helps that there's a mirror in front of me and I can see you back there, staring at me. Yeah, you're caught.
Funny anecdote: I was at my school rec center. They set the treadmills up so they are facing the same direction, but one behind the other, so if you're at the front, you have 2 people behind you. I had just started my workout when my ex-boyfriend walks in front of me to get a drink. We ended on OK terms, so it's not a huge deal to see him but I wasn't about to break my pace to chat, so I just waved and continued my workout. 25 minutes later, I stop my machine, turn around to hop off, and there is my ex-boyfriend on the machine behind me. He had been there for 25 minutes, presumably staring at my butt. Awesome. I leave to go stretch. There I am in the world's most awkward stretch, the butterfly stretch, crotch open to the world. I'm looking at my shoes when I notice a shadow move over me. I look up and there is my ex again, smiling at me. "Hey, you look great. We should hang out soon." No, thanks.
What bugs you most at the gym? I know we all have those people who drive us bonkers. Come on, spill.
Just found you last night through a comment you left on priorfatgirl....and couldn't wait until this morning to go back and read from the beginning! I love your blog, I see so much of myself in you its incredible, (going to school, working, running, ready to run outside (live in CT we get cold icy winters too, occasional choc/peanut butter binges, etc) and running my first 1/2 marathon this October) but I'm waaaay too scared to start one (blog) of my own. and slightly older than you, will be turning 30 a week after my 1/2 marathon. I'm a silent reader....but consider another follower to yours....one quick question, how tall are you? you mentioned some weight stats...
ReplyDeleteoh those that drive us bonkers at the gym, where to even begin!! haha love your descriptions above, esp the miss hottie eye candy
keep up the great work and I look forward to reading your postings!
Hey! It's great to hear from people. I never know if people actually read this or not, but I still keep it up. I'm super flattered that you love my blog. I started writing one when I read a friend's blog. She has lost a lost of weight, about 52 pounds now, and she said that blogging and reading other people's blogs helped her keep at it. It really gives you a place to get your feelings out and have someone read it and be able to empathize. I can't tell you how much blogging has helped me! It almost makes me feel more accountable when I write about. I never like posting bad weigh in news.
ReplyDeleteI've also found that I like to go back and read my own blog. It's motivational for me to see how far I've come and the struggles and successes that have gotten me closer to my goal. Maybe you should try writing your own blog, but keep it private for a while? You might find that it helps you in your goals.
As for your question, I am 5 '9".